they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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