so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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