I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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