You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
