the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
