i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
