then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Is it penis luge time yet?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
