I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize