saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
