Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
