did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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