Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
