he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
