your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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