I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
