try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize