peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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