i think my tv is drunk
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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