my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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