i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
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My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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