Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
