I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
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