would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
