I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
