My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize