i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
