Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You pole danced in your parka.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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