I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
