Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
