The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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