just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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