Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
