I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize