I think i peed on brittanys purse
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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