dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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