She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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