the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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