sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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