He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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