whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
