This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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