I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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