You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
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he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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