playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
