My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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