like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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