i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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