Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
