Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
