I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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