whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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