wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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