All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
