we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
your room smells of hookers.
And success
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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