I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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