worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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