Barsexuality is the new black.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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