Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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