Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
