I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
