oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
