Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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