drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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